{"id":299891,"date":"2020-11-25T14:10:10","date_gmt":"2020-11-25T12:10:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/basilica.ro\/?p=299891"},"modified":"2020-11-25T14:15:36","modified_gmt":"2020-11-25T12:15:36","slug":"international-day-for-the-elimination-of-violence-against-women-defense-ministry-illuminated-how-to-detect-abuse-signs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/international-day-for-the-elimination-of-violence-against-women-defense-ministry-illuminated-how-to-detect-abuse-signs\/","title":{"rendered":"International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women: Defense Ministry illuminated. How to detect abuse signs"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>The building of the Romanian Ministry of National Defense will be illuminated on Wednesday night in orange, the colour of solidarity with women who are victims of domestic violence. The action is taken on the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and is part of a global 16-day campaign repeated annually and having orange as its distinctive colour.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>An orange band and the mention of the international day can also be found on the institution\u2019s website:<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_299895\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-299895\" style=\"width: 1286px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-299895 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/basilica.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Capture-1-2.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1286\" height=\"1022\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-299895\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo source: Screenshot of the mapn.ro page<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>The International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women was established in 2000 through a UN resolution.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.unwomen.org\/en\/what-we-do\/ending-violence-against-women\/facts-and-figures\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Statistics<\/a> reported by the United Nations show that more than one-third of the women in the world are confronted with violence from their partners at least once in their lifetime. 137 women are killed daily through domestic violence.<\/p>\n<p>During the Covid-19 pandemic, some countries saw the number of calls to specialized support helplines increase up to five-fold.<\/p>\n<p>Yet, it is estimated that less than 40% of the victims ask for help because they feel guilty, they do not believe there is a solution to their problem or they even feel paralyzed by fear of their partner.<\/p>\n<h3>How to support women to leave the circle of abuse<\/h3>\n<p>\u201cSt Alexandra the Empress\u201d Counseling and Support Center, based in Bucharest, Romania, has offered on its <a href=\"https:\/\/centrulalexandra.ro\/index.php\/2020\/04\/22\/ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice\/\">blog<\/a> some advice for members of the victim\u2019s entourage on how to spot the signs of abuse on women and how to offer support.<\/p>\n<h4>Signs of abuse<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>She seems afraid of her partner or is always very anxious to please him or her.<\/li>\n<li>She has stopped seeing her friends or family or cuts phone conversations short when her partner is in the room.<\/li>\n<li>Her partner often criticises her or humiliates her in front of other people.<\/li>\n<li>She says her partner pressures or forces her to do sexual things.<\/li>\n<li>Her partner often orders her about or makes all the decisions (for example, her partner controls all the money, tells her who she can see and what she can do).<\/li>\n<li>She often talks about her partner\u2019s \u2018jealousy\u2019, \u2018bad temper\u2019 or \u2018possessiveness\u2019.<\/li>\n<li>She has become anxious or depressed, has lost her confidence, or is unusually quiet.<\/li>\n<li>She has physical injuries (bruises, broken bones, sprains, cuts etc). She may give unlikely explanations for physical injuries.<\/li>\n<li>Her children seem afraid of her partner, have behaviour problems, or are very withdrawn or anxious.<\/li>\n<li>She is reluctant to leave her children with her partner.<\/li>\n<li>After she has left the relationship, her partner is constantly calling her, harassing her, following her, coming to her house or waiting outside.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4>What to do<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>Listen to what she has to say.<\/li>\n<li>Believe what she tells you. It will have taken a lot for her to talk to you. People are much more likely to cover up or downplay the abuse, rather than to make it up or exaggerate. You might find it hard to imagine someone you know could behave abusively. But the person who is abusive will probably show you a very different side to the side the victim sees.<\/li>\n<li>Take the abuse seriously. Abuse can be damaging both physically and emotionally. Don\u2019t underestimate the danger she may be in.<\/li>\n<li>Help her to recognise the abuse\u00a0and understand how it may be affecting her or her children.<\/li>\n<li>Tell her you think she has been brave\u00a0in being able to talk about the abuse, and in being able to keep going despite the abuse.<\/li>\n<li>Help to build her confidence in herself.<\/li>\n<li>Help her to understand that the abuse is not her fault\u00a0and that no-one deserves to be abused, no matter what they do. Let her know you think that the way her partner is treating her is wrong. For example,\u00a0<em>\u2018No-one, not even your husband, has the right to mistreat you\u2019<\/em><\/li>\n<li>Help her to protect herself.\u00a0You could say\u00a0<em>\u2018I\u2019m afraid of what he could do to you or the children<\/em>\u2018 or\u00a0<em>\u2018I\u2019m worried that it will get worse\u2019\u00a0<\/em>. Talk to her about how she thinks she could protect herself. See the section \u2018Helping to increase her safety\u2019 (see below).<\/li>\n<li>Help her to think about what she can do\u00a0and see how you can help her to achieve it.<\/li>\n<li>Offer practical assistance\u00a0like minding the children for a while, cooking a meal for her, offering a safe place to stay, transport or to accompany her to court, etc.<\/li>\n<li>Respect her right to make her own decisions, even if you don\u2019t agree with them. Respect her cultural or religious values and beliefs.<\/li>\n<li>Maintain some level of regular contact with her.\u00a0Having an opportunity to talk regularly to a supportive friend or relative can be very important.<\/li>\n<li>Find out about legal options available and pass this information on to her if she wants it.<\/li>\n<li>Tell her about the services available.\u00a0Remind her that if she calls a service, she can just get support and information, they won\u2019t pressure her to leave if she doesn\u2019t want to.<\/li>\n<li>Keep supporting her after she has left the relationship.\u00a0The period of separation could be a dangerous time for her, as the abuse may increase. She may need practical support and encouragement to help her establish a new life and recover from the abuse. She could also seek counselling.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4>What not to do<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>Don\u2019t blame her for the abuse or ask questions like \u2018what did you do for him to treat you like that?\u2019 or \u2018why do you put up with it?\u2019, or \u2018how can you still be in love with him?\u2019 These questions suggest that it is somehow her fault.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t criticise her partner.\u00a0Criticise the abusive behaviour and let her know that no-one has the right to abuse her (for example, say \u2018your partner shouldn\u2019t treat you like that\u2019). Criticism of her partner is only likely to make her want to defend him or her.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t give advice, or tell her what you would do. This will only reduce her confidence to make her own decisions. Listen to her and give her information, not advice.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>Find more similar practical <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dvrcv.org.au\/help-advice\/guide-for-families-friends-and-neighbours\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">advice<\/a> on the topic at the Domestic Violence Resource Center Victoria (Australia).\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-299891 gallery-columns-2 gallery-size-medium'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a data-size='2048x1365' href='https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/international-day-for-the-elimination-of-violence-against-women-defense-ministry-illuminated-how-to-detect-abuse-signs\/31410345236_cf65a5ce45_k-2\/'><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"890\" height=\"593\" src=\"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/31410345236_cf65a5ce45_k-890x593.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a data-size='2048x1362' href='https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/international-day-for-the-elimination-of-violence-against-women-defense-ministry-illuminated-how-to-detect-abuse-signs\/23249684572_6f618c2207_k-2\/'><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"890\" height=\"592\" src=\"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/23249684572_6f618c2207_k-890x592.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p>Photo courtesy of Freepik.com (opening photo)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The building of the Romanian Ministry of National Defense will be illuminated on Wednesday night in orange, the colour of solidarity with women who are victims of domestic violence. The action is taken on the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and is part of a global 16-day campaign repeated annually and&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":299890,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22922],"tags":[23528,24575,10386,246],"class_list":["post-299891","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-society","tag-domestic-violence","tag-international-day-for-the-elimination-of-violence-against-women","tag-orthodox-news","tag-romania"],"better_featured_image":{"id":299890,"alt_text":"","caption":"Young woman showing her denial with NO on her hand. Focus on hand. Timid woman symbol of violence in the family","description":"","media_type":"image","media_details":{"width":1900,"height":1262,"file":"2020\/11\/ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice.jpg","sizes":{"medium":{"file":"ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice-890x591.jpg","width":890,"height":591,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice-890x591.jpg"},"large":{"file":"ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice-1024x680.jpg","width":1024,"height":680,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice-1024x680.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice-360x360.jpg","width":360,"height":360,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice-360x360.jpg"},"1536x1536":{"file":"ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice-1536x1020.jpg","width":1536,"height":1020,"mime-type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice-1536x1020.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"Young woman showing her denial with NO on her hand. Focus on hand. Timid woman symbol of violence in the family","created_timestamp":"1499858804","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"1","keywords":[]}},"post":299891,"source_url":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/ghid-cum-sprijini-o-femeie-victima-a-violentei-domestice.jpg"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299891\/"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post\/"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19\/"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments\/?post=299891"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299891\/revisions\/"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/299890\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/?parent=299891"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories\/?post=299891"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arhiva.basilica.ro\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags\/?post=299891"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}